The North wind doth blow…

Why is it that when you are heading off on your hols to sunnier destinations, do the Gods decide to have some fun?

Let the games begin…

The prep

Here you are: the weary but savvy traveller, grabbing the golden opportunity to reduce your luggage to the bare essentials—because who needs heavy fleeces in 30°C Bangkok? “Easy-peasy”, he says. “It’ll be a doddle to get everything under the airline limits.”

So very different from last year with our one-bagging. This time we have checked baggage and its limit is 23kg. Mine? A svelte 11kg of lightweight clothing (the effortless perk of being a bloke with minimal needs and even less fashion sense) plus the suitcase itself. Of course, I’ve also had to pack 8kg of presents, because apparently, Scottish Santa is using a commercial jet this Christmas, and Mrs Claus has no room at the inn in her overpacked case.

My carry-on is a different matter – several frustrating attempts (and UN-mediated negotiations with L) to get that down to the 7kg limit due to all the tech I am lugging. A sardine would feel claustrophobic…

Departure Day.

So, remember that 30°C Bangkok? I certainly remember it from last year, when we arrived in the evening. This time it will be at 1pm, with the sun overhead, so again the canny traveller will make sure it's just light gear when struggling with luggage to the apartment.

But Scotland has a big say on the first leg of our journey, and of course, it's playing its favourite cold and wet rain card – so time for layers.

Flight - Leg 1

And layers (in moderation) are perfectly fine. The flight from Glasgow to Dubai was great – perfect temps in the cabin and perfect flying conditions with no turbulence. Bliss!

Flight - Leg 2

The early morning flight from Dubai to Bangkok was a different matter altogether. I think the airline has future deep space flight aspirations, as I think it was carrying out human experimentation on its cryosleep techniques - It was ####ing freezing in the cabin! The Tog 0.03 blanket they give you doesn’t have much thermal abilities in these sorts of conditions, and you could see the flight attendants struggling with the low temps, too. Despite the layers, that shorter flight really dragged - which, from a science perspective, is odd as, according to physics, absolute zero isn’t supposed to cause time dilation…

Air Cons

Back home, our Nest central heating controller is guarded by a mythical beast – something like a Griffin – the head and eyes of an eagle with the ferocity of a lion. Heaven help you if you try and change the temperature half a degree warmer from 19°C. L will pounce and claim it's roasting, then dial it back down. Little does she know I can sneak past her ever-vigilant gaze by using the Nest App on my phone and turn it up to 22! Bwahahahahah!

Over here, though, the air conditioning systems run on what seems like a different scale. Even a 25°C setting can be chilly. So it takes a day or so of trying out temps to find the Goldilocks setting. For the living room, that’s 27°C (more off than on, due to the noise). For the sake of your throat, you might not wish to use the one in the bedroom all night…

The latest in airline comfort - in these cryopods, no one can hear your teeth chatter...

I should never have left it on overnight!

In malls, your mileage may vary with their AC – most are fine, but the odd one might leave you looking like a smurf!

First world problems

But what a whingy git! Who the heck is going to complain after leaving Scotland in the winter for this?

I’ll shut up.

For now...