Why Dividend Memories Are So Important

Well, hello again, lovely readers.

We hope you're all doing well and not completely bored with our musings. I keep thinking that I need to write more about some general things that are on my mind, but I never seem to get around to these, as I also want to keep up-to-date and record our daily excursions here and believe it or not, there never seems to be enough time to do it all! Ok, that’s a bit of a lie as I could probably do it if I really wanted to and if I put my mind to it, but that is not one of my retirement aims. Retirement for me (and I can probably include R in this, as I know we are on the same page for this), is all about time and balance. So, that is exactly what we do. We get up, have breakfast, catch up on news and stuff, go out exploring, come back, rest and relax, have dinner, write, read, watch telly or catch up with kids, family or friends (more a combination of these), then it’s bedtime and the next day is similar but usually with a different place to explore.

This sounds a bit like Groundhog Day, I suppose, but before we know it (as time really does fly by), we will be back home again and back to our normal routine at home, with our trip soon a distant memory (just like when you used to go on holidays when working). As I get older, I find it is these memories and experiences that are very important to me. I’ve heard and read about the concept of ‘memory dividends’, and I think I have, in the past (somewhat unknowingly), always tried to ‘bank’ these memories.

Also, we could never really ‘do’ a 2-week beach holiday – it’s just not us. We were always city break people, or self-planned and organised tour holiday people – and yes, I would usually have a planned out schedule of things to do and see, as I always wanted to get the most out of any trip and place that we visited. We’ve seen some fabulous places, had some amazing experiences, and we have always taken lots of photos wherever we have been, so again, I guess we have always wanted some way to record these ‘memories’ to be able to look back on and remind us of these events.

The blog posts came along as another dimension of this, I guess. Although at the time it was more for a practical reason – i.e. people would know where we were, and we would be able to share the excitement of our first big retirement trip with them. We are always telling our kids to remember to take lots of photos with their friends and when at events, because they may want to look back on these in the future. I even turned last year's blog posts into a book version (minus any personal photos). Why, you might be asking, or heaven forbid, perhaps you are even thinking that we are very self-centred individuals. We’re most definitely not! It’s all about memories and legacy.

When I lost my mum and brother unexpectedly in 2021, a whole chain of events started. I won’t go into these, but suffice to say, I was dealing with lots of shit, all going on at the same time. One of the distractions to all this was when I started to get involved in family history. If you know me, then when I get interested in something, I kinda go ‘all-in’. I found it fascinating, frustrating, illuminating, sad, thought-provoking, etc. Now, anyone who has done some family history stuff in the past will understand these feelings, and for anyone thinking of doing it, be aware it’s great, but it can be exhausting too!

I suddenly became ‘connected’ to people that I was descended from or related to, people that I did not know about, and it was frustrating. I wanted to know about these people. Why had I not asked my parents and grandparents about their relations when they were still alive? I think we all know the answer to that question – it’s because we are all too busy working, raising children, creating and maintaining friendships and relationships, and just dealing with general life, etc. A really sad fact is that most people are forgotten in three generations. The first generation knows you, the second hears stories, and the third likely knows only your name, if that. I only really remember two of my grandparents (both my grandmothers), and of these, only one had any impact and influence on me, and that was Nanny (my mum’s mum). However, legacies or records can extend memory beyond this, so I’d like to think that part of my retirement journey is to leave a digital legacy about me and my life for anyone who might come along in the future and want to know more about me (directly) as their ancestor! That’s something I would really have appreciated from my ancestors, and who knows, by the time I go, maybe I will be able to leave accessible hologram messages for them (I can hear you groan and roll your eyes, you know!...) The important thing is that they will get a real sense of me, my life, my likes, my dislikes and of the people that are important to me.

Now, before you think I’m going all ‘death watch’ – I’m NOT! I’m future planning. My retirement journey (because that is what I call this time of my life) does include writing a couple of books - though I’m not sure when I’m ever going to have the time, as I always seem to be too busy with other things to get properly organised for this, but I WILL get to it sometime in the future….

A, who is doing an MSc in Genetics, recently asked me about a possible health condition in my dad’s side of the family, for an assignment that he is doing. Well, hold my coat folks - that had me in my element checking out death certificates for great aunts, uncles and great grandparents! I’m not sure that this morbid curiosity is ‘normal’, but I love learning more about the past and just wish I had more information about these people.

I should also add here that his nibs, R, has also vastly benefited from my family research, as he is now the proud owner of an Irish passport thanks to me (and his Irish granny).

There is also a serious and sad aspect to all of this fascination with memories, the past and this blog post. I have just finished reading Fiona Phillips’s book ‘Remember Me’, and it is absolutely heartbreaking. Both Fiona, her amazing husband Martin and their sons should be so proud of themselves with this book. By cataloguing Fiona’s diagnosis and their life living with her Alzheimer's, they have given an honest and real account of how horrific this disease is and how this smart, independent, strong, stubborn, famous journalist and presenter is now a shadow of her former self because of this horrible, debilitating disease that is systematically destroying her memories.

So, I just thought I’d throw in this post here as a way to explain why these blog posts are useful to me (and R), even if we can’t always keep them up-to-date as quickly as we’d like.

On that note, have a fabulous day or evening (and don’t forget to bank some dividend memories!).

L & R x

Day 62: 24 January 2026

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia